so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's never too late to be topless.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Randomize
