This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
