the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
