a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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