I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The Olympian is in my bed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
