Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
