he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
