oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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