You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
