Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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