He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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