You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
