I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
