her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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