I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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