I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
