first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
