That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
