we have officially lost it.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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