We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
