Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
