Whod you bang
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
