we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
