If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This house was built for laser tag.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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