Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
operation have a gay friend backfired
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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