Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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