How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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