If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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