ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
