i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We need to get me chipped asap
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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