took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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