afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
