A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
May the power of my ass compel you!!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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