he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
