i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
