I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
