dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
