I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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