So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize