Whoa Z and x make the same sound
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
