I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
