So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
