Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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