I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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