I am in a vortex of obligation.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
