it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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