road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
