I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
mondays should just be called national damage control day
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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