Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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