No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she peed on how many people?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
