next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
