But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
