just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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