So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
