I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
