Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
