His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
