her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i think i have herpe
just one?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pants are for mortals
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
